I'm back again at my favorite place in the world. Allen Pond Park in Bowie, MD is so gorgeous in the Spring time. I feel the wind as it presses up against my bare calves and sandaled feet; the sound of the breeze through the trees is the voice of the Creator(ess). I couldn't help but be grateful for this time. At first, I had a mind to walk around that place, but it seemed better to sit. Allen Pond is such a simple place, I've got no idea why I love it so much. And just when I thought things couldn't get anymore perfect...
A female duck, which [interestingly enough] is called a hen, flies up to the edge of the bank near where I'm sitting. There's only a few feet between us. She's resting from what's probably been a long swim and cleaning herself. She'd had no companion to keep her company, and she was just fine with that. She looked so comfortable there with no one to unsettle her peace, only the fingers of God touching her lovely brown feathers. I noticed her and I felt fine.
Was it mere coincidence that she plopped up on the bank only minutes after I took my seat on the bench? I wondered, 'what's she's thinking?' as she watched another hen swim past her accompanied by six ducklings. The solitary hen looked for a moment and...went back to doing her own thing. No envy, no jealousy, no squawking. She even watched a male duck go by. She made no move. Peaceful consideration. Beautiful! Really and truly, we can learn so much from our animal brethren/sistren. In a world where so many are defined by and looked down upon because their "singleness" this little brown duck was a representation of something very real.
I gave thanks and honor to Goddess for granting me this simple message. Still, I wondered if what if I was trying to interpret was wrong? If I'm honest with myself, I couldn't deny that in the moment it felt like a message of inner peace. Goddess knew how I was feeling earlier--inadequate and awkward. In Her Mercy, she sent me that little brown hen; a temporary spiritual companion, but a memory for me to treasure forever.
It's funny how ducks always pop up in my life. They teach me things and give me comfort. Maybe I should have been a Delta? Just kidding! Once, in my time of need, and when I was coupled there were two ducks my partner and I had seen. They moved as one but not too close. They did not interrupt each other's path. For a time, like me and my partner, they moved together. Many times before now, ducks have appeared to me to give hope and comfort, and I thank Goddess for each visit back then. Now there is this one, she's beautiful, brown, and solitary. She comes and goes as she pleases and though her peace my be disturbed for a moment, she comes right back. That's how mediation works. As she buries beak in her feathers she reminds me of the SANKOFA bird, she keeps her feet forward but her neck curves back so that she may cleanse herself.
Pray(H)er
Goddess, if I'm going to look back, let it be for the purpose of healing. May I take my lessons and keep my feet going forward. May I not waste this valuable time with You. Garden my soul, and prepare me for the things that You've planned for me. Let me be still and comfortable right where I am. Let me be grateful for You and all things positive in my life. My life is beautiful...let me always remember that.
More than anything, let me remember and honor the the Sacrifice and the Life of Your Son. By His stripes...I am healed and the battle of my soul is won. Let the magnitude of this fall upon me whenever I'm in need of it. Let the Truth of that rest with me all the days of my life.
I decided, come what may, I will trust You.
Later
Some days later I went to see Alice Walker promote her new book, The Chicken Chronicles at Bus Boys & Poets in D.C.. Nervous as I was, I gathered up the courage to ask her a question about the time I'd spent at the pond. As if I needed anymore confirmation from the Goddess, Alice told me: "Rest with it." She told me that the messages we get are for us alone and that they are real. At times, she herself wonders if her own messages are true-- but if you sit and let it happen, Goddess reveals Herself and in her own way.
that was beautiful.
ReplyDeleteit reminds me of something a friend told me (loosely quoted) you have to appreciate where you are in the present before you can grow forward.
First, I have to call you out for cheating because this was one of your old Facebook notes, so BUSTED ma'am.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I'm glad you reposted it because it is a beautiful story. Often times it is hard to be alone because it usually leaves us with the task of self reflection which can be hard considering some of us don't have the healthiest concepts of our identity.
However when that divine being allows us to quit being our own worst critics and appreciating their gift of life, with the serenity to meditate on it and the heart and mind to understand and appreciate it, then it is truly a beautiful thing to behold. When we can find validity in ourselves and not have to wait for another it is a celestial feeling.
Third, please excuse any mispellings or run on sentences.