Stupid H**: Hip-Hop's Hypocrisy and the Souls of Black Girls

In typical Lena B. fashion, I'm the last [most late] person to speak on the real life issues[sarcasm] going on in the Hip-Hop world. But be that as it may, if something bothers me long enough-- I'll speak/write about it.  As we all know, there's beef going on between 90's Rap Icon L'il Kim and newly crowned Hip-Pop Princess Nicki Minaj; if you're not familiar with the beef, there's roughly 2 years worth of interviews, parodies, cartoons, and fan commentary on YouTube to help catch you up. Bottom line? They don't like each other.

I'm not the biggest fan of Hip-Hop music, in fact, I usually go from an absolute revulsion of the stuff, to giving ear to conscious and/or underground artists (See Common, Jay Electronica, MF DOOM) that I wouldn't mind having in my Ipod. So, why on Earth would a non-fan bother with some cat fight between two women who consider themselves the best? Have you heard Nicki's Stupid H** track? That was really the tipping point for me. I'm mean, wow! Completely ignoring my own feelings about the song itself in terms of delivery and skill, I wondered, what happened to the Nicki that asked a very fair question in her  Hot 97 interview: "Why in the Black Communities we gotta hate on each other...?" That was the Nicki I could respect. I tipped my hat to her in the hopes that Kim would eventually do the same. Nope.

If the goal of mainstream Hip-Hop is to be a hit-driven, money making machine, then it's clear that Nicki had won the battle. Just check out her accolades and the magazines discussing how she's made record history. So what was the point of Stupid H**?  Was it meant to be the final nail in the coffin? Or was she more negatively affected by the the opinions of a 'sore loser' than she let on? Perhaps she caved under pressure from her crew or fans to respond? Only she knows the answer to that. My stance is that the act was hypocritical. In the same interview, she stated: "You don't have to feel the need to put somebody down just to make yourself feel better." Well, Nicki, isn't that what your doing? Seems like it. Hell, I don't imagine that the biggest selling female rap artist needs to put someone down in order to get a hit song--but what do I know?

I'm curious to know what happens to a person once they're caught in the net of stardom? Perhaps it does something to their insight? It's bad enough to talk about the woman who virtually paved your way to in the music business, and it's even worse to do the exact same thing that you initially accused her of doing to you. How do you speak so eloquently about the harm we do to one another in our community, then make a song calling another woman a stupid h**? Don't we get enough of that from the guys in Hip-Hop? Don't we get enough of that every single day? Well, with over 40 million views of the official video and over 400,000 'likes', it appears that we don't. Thanks Nicki.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving Kim any kind of Girl Scout badge. The image of Nicki's decapitated head on the cover of the Black Friday mixtape makes me sick to my stomach. Surely Kim's aware of the thousands of Black women who come face to face with death and violence everyday. Even her legendary mentor Christopher Wallace said that he'd "never wish death on anyone" yet she spouts that she'll erase a persons SSN? That is not the behavior of anyone who would be a Queen.

My biggest issue overall is what both Nicki and Kim are putting into the hearts and minds of young Black girls.  Like the idea that it's cool to call your Black sister a stupid h** if she pushes you far enough. Or, the idea that in order keep your throne, someone's got to die. How do ideas like these contribute to race uplift? How can they help change the negative perception that the media's already given the world about Black women in general? It seems to me the the sentiments shared between Kim and Nicki are real, but I wonder if they've considered, regardless of record sales, whether or not this nonsense and its potential consequences are worth it? One can only hope.

Ducks, Goddess, And The Beauty Of Being Single

I'm back again at my favorite place in the world. Allen Pond Park in Bowie, MD is so gorgeous in the Spring time. I feel the wind as it presses up against my bare calves and sandaled feet; the sound of the breeze through the trees is the voice of the Creator(ess). I couldn't help but be grateful for this time. At first, I had a mind to walk around that place, but it seemed better to sit. Allen Pond is such a simple place, I've got no idea why I love it so much. And just when I thought things couldn't get anymore perfect...

A female duck, which [interestingly enough] is called a hen, flies up to the edge of the bank near where I'm sitting. There's only a few feet between us. She's resting from what's probably been a long swim and cleaning herself. She'd had no companion to keep her company, and she was just fine with that. She looked so comfortable there with no one to unsettle her peace, only the fingers of God touching her lovely brown feathers. I noticed her and I felt fine.

Was it mere coincidence that she plopped up on the bank only minutes after I took my seat on the bench? I wondered, 'what's she's thinking?' as she watched another hen swim past her accompanied by six ducklings. The solitary hen looked for a moment and...went back to doing her own thing. No envy, no jealousy, no squawking. She even watched a male duck go by. She made no move. Peaceful consideration. Beautiful! Really and truly, we can learn so much from our animal brethren/sistren. In a world where so many are defined by and looked down upon because their "singleness" this little brown duck was a representation of something very real.

I gave thanks and honor to Goddess for granting me this simple message. Still, I wondered if what if I was trying to interpret was wrong? If I'm honest with myself, I couldn't deny that in the moment it felt like a message of inner peace. Goddess knew how I was feeling earlier--inadequate and awkward. In Her Mercy, she sent me that little brown hen; a temporary spiritual companion, but a memory for me to treasure forever. 

It's funny how ducks always pop up in my life. They teach me things and give me comfort. Maybe I should have been a Delta? Just kidding! Once, in my time of need, and when I was coupled  there were two ducks my partner and I had seen. They moved as one but not too close. They did not interrupt each other's path. For a time, like me and my partner, they moved  together. Many times before now, ducks have appeared to me to give hope and comfort, and I thank Goddess for each visit back then. Now there is this one, she's beautiful, brown, and solitary. She comes and goes as she pleases and though her peace my be disturbed for a moment, she comes right back. That's how mediation works. As she buries beak in her feathers she reminds me of the SANKOFA bird, she keeps her feet forward but her neck curves back so that she may cleanse herself.

Pray(H)er

Goddess, if I'm going to look back, let it be for the purpose of healing. May I take my lessons and keep my feet going forward. May I not waste this valuable time with You. Garden my soul, and prepare me for the things that You've planned for me. Let me be still and comfortable right where I am. Let me be grateful for You and all things positive in my life. My life is beautiful...let me always remember that.

More than anything, let me remember and honor the the Sacrifice and the Life of Your Son. By His stripes...I am healed and the battle of my soul is won. Let the magnitude of this fall upon me whenever I'm in need of it. Let the Truth of that rest with me all the days of my life.

I decided, come what may, I will trust You.

Later

Some days later I went to see Alice Walker promote her new book, The Chicken Chronicles at Bus Boys & Poets in D.C.. Nervous as I was, I gathered up the courage to ask her a question about the time I'd spent at the pond. As if I needed anymore confirmation from the Goddess, Alice told me: "Rest with it." She told me that the messages we get are for us alone and that they are real. At times, she herself wonders if her own messages are true-- but if you sit and let it happen, Goddess reveals Herself and in her own way.

The Medicine Woman and Knowing The Way

My journey to the Medicine Woman began at the gas station (I think it was a HESS) and as I made my way out of the station, a man in a service van said to me, "they said the Sun wasn't going to shine today but it just walked out right now." He was referring to me, or, better yet, something I think he must have noticed within me. I immediately told him that he'd made my day, hopped into my car, and set out on my 2 hour journey to the Medicine Lodge. Before I get too far ahead of mysef, I'd like to imagine that what the man saw was an image of the Creator; words like the ones he'd say to me go so much deeper than mere physical beauty. "I'm not self-destructive." I told myself those words in my heart and acknowledged that the Son/Sun lives within me as I pulled out of the parking lot heading West. 


My guess was that it was 8:30am when i'd really gotten on the road. Part of me worried and fretted that I would not know 'The Way' because it'd been such a long time since i'd visited Robin and i'd forgotten the directions then too. But, as Providence would have it, I arrived at Robin's home with 5 minutes to spare. That really speaks to the power of our memories/inutition/ability to trust. It seems to me that, deep down, we always know the way if we listen and have trust in our inner voice. I wondered what made Saturday's journey so different from all the others? Intuition is the simplest answer I think. Lena has always known 'The Way'--confusing as it can be. I approached the door with the rabbit's pelt, knocked [Matt 7 vs 7], and she opened the door. Robin greeted me with a hug that was almost maternal and immediately I felt welcome (As always) in the Flower Eagle Medicine Lodge. 


Robin is an old friend and guide of mine. Words really can't describe how glad I was to see this wonderful woman! We spoke for a little while of the blessings the Spirit of Life had granted the both of us and if there was any other small talk, I really can't say I recall it now. She asks, "What are you doing for yourself spiritually? " To which i responded, "I have a Diary!" She now knows about how I 'Come Clean' to the Creator without fear of judgement or condemnation or any of those things that keep people from speaking their hearts to the Divine. She knows about how good it feels for me to put my words (silent though they are) wholeheartedly out into the Universe. There's more to what happened at the medicine lodge but I think it's best to keep that for me.....unless you really want to know.


 At the close of it I asked Robin for a blessing in my journey forward (who knows when we'll next see each other?) Standing on my own two feet I waited with my eyes closed and my heart open...Robin dipped an Eagle feather in water mixed with an essential oil called 'Joy' and spoke the words of a simple prayer: (She touches my palms with the feather) "Great Spirit, bless this Woman's hands as she does good works. (She touches the tops of my feet with the feather) bless this Woman's feet on her journey."As a parting gift, Robin gives me a vulture's feather she'd pick up somewhere all her own journey. Now, before you give the side-eye understand that without the vulture and his medicine we'd be covered in dead matter and old things that prevent us from growing, to say the least, I am very grateful for this present.

Librarianship: A Quirky Profession.

The purpose of a Librarian is to: 

Collect, organize, distribute, and retrieve information for the sake of the masses. It is my firm belief that Librarians are the preservers of culture and all around "it girls" (and sometimes boys lol) when it comes to answering questions or helping you mere mortals(j/k) to find the answers you want. When you're stumped-- ask a Librarian. I'm re-posting this because I'd like for everyone to know that this kind of power and influence was once (and will be again) in the hands of some of our greatest Quirky Heroines.

Audre Lorde

Zora Neale Hurston

Regina M. Anderson (played a pivotal role in bringing about the Harlem Renaissance)

Augusta Braxton Baker (broke through the glass ceiling and was promoted to the highest position within the NY Library system)

I salute Black Librarians